This is shit.I'm sorry, I don't know how to phrase my feelings for this weather in a cohesive or eloquent way. No matter how many times it happens, I'll never understand springtime snow. As far as I always understood in my picture-books as a child, spring is supposed to be about flowers and green grass and animals humping.
You know what really messes me up? Groundhog Day (the actual day, not the delightful film starring Mr. Personality himself, Bill Murray). Every February 2nd, the groundhog peeks his head out of his hole, and newscasters tell us that he saw his shadow. First if all, how do they know that he saw his shadow? It's not like the groundhog can fax the media shadow-updates or anything. Also, a groundhog is basically a lard-filled gopher. From the looks of an average Southern-Alberta highway, gophers are not too clever at the best of times. Meteorologists, they are not.
Anyway, every year I get this little glimmer of hope that the last snowfall will be sometime in early March, and it then it will be smooth-sailing with sunshine and pools and patios until late October. This is actually how it's supposed to be when March rolls around, according to classic literature such as "The Four Seasons of Math", which was an educational workbook that my parents made me do one time in elementary school. You know what? The way things are going, an early spring may never, ever happen, despite what the groundhog says.
Part of me thinks that it's the general public's fault for holding onto winter for so long. Why are people still wearing mega-puff NorthFace coats in March? No matter how cold it is, all of your winter stuff, which includes mittens and wool or down coats, must be in the closet on March 1st. Otherwise, spring and summer are going to show up to the party, and they'll think that everyone is having so much fun with winter that they may as well take off and go back down to Miami, where everything is waaaay more fun anyway.
So here's the plan: we need to make spring and summer feel welcome. This means that it's time to start wearing jackets instead of coats. Sure, it'll be chilly for a bit. Deal with it. Anyone who ever went to junior high could tell you that you look like a million times cooler when you're underdressed for the weather. You know what's even better? Be a real sport and wear cutoffs or neon or kooky sunglasses....Bonus points if the neon is a little sun-faded.
Another thing you can do is to come out of hibernation. Sure, it's kind-of great to hide away and tuck yourself into warmth for a few months, like some kind of herbal tea commercial, but once you get outside of the "official" winter months, it's time to get the hell out of the house and fill up all of the fun spots. Come on.
Drink a ton of slurpees, go stand by the fence of the outdoor pool, have a beer on your balcony, stop cooking pot roasts (this one is for my downstairs neighbours), walk downtown and make fun of people along the way, force everyone to listen to the Menace II Society soundtrack, and eat popsicles for dinner now and again.... There's so many little things you can do.
Let's get it together and make summer happen. We can do this, guys!
~sarah p.
