Wrapping paper is stupid.

It is.
Here is a list of alternate things to put around gifts:

-Put a burger on a newspaper for a minute or so, then trace around the grease-stain, and draw a face on it. Tie with some glitter yarn.
-Write a list of words that almost rhyme (orange/sword, papes/tates...See? They don't even have to be real!), and tape it around gift with masking tape.
-Cut out pictures of everything you would like as a present, and make some sort of collage. Wrap around gifts, and send to your friends and relatives long before they've bought you anything. The power of suggestion is some pretty heavy stuff.
-Paint the outside of a ziplock baggie, and seal with some Doublemint and Big Red, for a "festive" look.
-Dip entire gift in glue, and then dip into a sparkle-tank (Yes, I know there's no such thing as a sparkle-tank, but a girl can dream...)
-Draw a picture of yourself drawing a picture of yourself drawing a picture of yourself drawing a picture of yourself drawing a picture of yourself naked. Tie with shoestring licorice.
-Write out the lyrics of Kris Kross' 'Jump', and paste together with dreams of faded glory.
-Silly String. Nuff said.

You're welcome.