A little evening learning.

Ahhh... So that's how they're made!

The beat behind this clip is kind-of fresh at points... No?

~sarah p.

p.s. You know when you download a track, and sleep on it for like six months? Then, one day you're walking home from work with six bags of groceries, so you don't have any hands to skip the songs on your i-pod, and the song comes on, and you listen to it for like a week straight because it's so good? That just happened to me with Masta Killa's 'Pass The Bone' Remix, which is so good that I can almost forgive him for hanging out with PETA. I think the reason why I was so hesitant on this one was that I was concerned that it wouldn't match up with GZA's 1990 original. Fortunately, when Wu-Tang members use each other's songs, it's not called biting, it's called sharing, and it's always a good thing.

The evening leading up to the worst headache I've ever had.

So, Breanne and I went out on Saturday. We did a little pre-gaming and chit-chatting over at the Rhino, because Jon and Alana are officially my favorite couple of all time. The problem was, I wasn't really counting my drinks while I was pre-gaming, and ended up drinking doubles all night. By the time we got to Broken, I was already pretty amped-up.

You know when you leave the house, and you really think you've got your outfit-steez set on lockdown for the night? Perhaps you're wearing your new glow-kicks...

...and perhaps you're wearing your gold fanny-pack (thanks, ladies... seriously best gift ever)...

...but then you turn around, and Liam Rogers is wearing this saucy number, and it puts everything you've ever worn to shame, and in your head you're all like "Okay, Sarah... Back to the fashion drawing board".

For the first night in a while, we weren't drinking Luckies, but I actually spent less money than a normal night.

(I think that had a little something to do with Brian Cheung, who really does win at life, and Breanne using her mega-charm on the bartenders)

See, Marco? Told you... You are amazingly photogenic. Too bad I'm not the same way.

At some point at the end of the night, I'm outside chatting with Josh, and this bartender that used to work at the Rhino was all like "I remember you", and I was all like "No, you don't". Then, I stopped and thought for a second... Yes, he did remember me, and that's not a good thing.

I guess we left the bar to go to a houseparty. Lately, I've been going to a lot of apartments that put my little slum-hole to shame.

Imagine waking up and seeing this every morning.

I ended up crate-digging for a couple of hours, which was rad, rad, rad (plus, did you see? I wore socks. This is the beginning of a whole new era).

Especially when I had a lady like Jen to crate-dig at my side.

Like, we're talking about one good record after another (thanks, Nate)...

See? I flipped when he threw this one on the decks, which would have happened with or without the gin.

Like all good things, the night had to come to an end at some point (which is probably a good thing).

I think I just experienced my first two-day hangover headache. Next time you see me drinking doubles all night, kick me in the face to remind me of the consequences.

~sarah p.

p.s. I know the grammar on this post is awful, but until the headache goes away, I'm not spellchecking or using anything I learned in grade-7 Language Arts.

To start your Friday off reeeeeaal proper-like...

...More videos from easier times:


Biggie - Party and Bullshit


Keith Murray - The Most Beautifullest Thing in This World


Nas - The World Is Yours


Mos Def & DJ Honda - Travellin Man


Craig Mack ft. Biggie - Flava in Your Ear Remix


Method Man - Bring The Pain


Chubb Rock - The Chubbster


Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth - They Reminisce Over You


Slick Rick ft. Raekwon - Frozen


Ultramagnetic MCs - Make It Happen

.

Have a great weekend, kids... Even if it isn't a long one.

~sarah p.

Short weekends are for chumps (A Retrospective) -Part 2

So Sunday night, Crystal suggested that we hit up 90's night at the Drum. I wasn't feeling great, but after my first gin and soda, I was pretty much good to go.

My new camera takes way cooler photos than any of my old cameras. Crystal looks good in red.

For the longest time, it was just Crystal, Melissa, and I on the dancefloor....

..But that didn't last long, and guess who showed up? Tara.

The whole time we were at the Drum, this kid kept loudly challenging Tara to a skateboarding contest, so she was all like "That's fine". Then, after the kid stalled for like half an hour, he admitted that he didn't actually know how to skate at all (plus his glasses weren't even real either).

The night ended up with me almost kicking over some kid's bong (sorry, kiddo), and getting sexually harrassed by a cabbie. Nicccccccccccce.

Sometimes I think it's time to start growing up.

~sarah p.

Short weekends are for chumps (A Retrospective)-Part 1

Long weekends? So much fun.
Saturday made it happen.

It all started with Jess and I scaling down 12 flights of stairs...

...Into a waterfall.

We head over to Broken, and the dancefloor is already entertaining.

What were we drinking again, Chris? Oh, yes. Right.

I got all amped up, because Lucky Lager, Marco, and dancefloors are totally some of my favorite things (just joking about the Luckies.... I drink them because they're the best option on a budget).

You two....

Why do well-dressed Japanese kids (like, literal kids) love hanging out with us so much?

Jess.... Racing down stairs, taking over the dancefloor, hailing cabs. Is there anything she can't do?

I spent a full day on Sunday on the couch watching MTV, because I knew that Sunday night was going to be a whole new adventure.

~sarah p.

A definitive guide to the best Valentine's gifts ever.

Really, more than anything, I'm here to look out for you guys. This means that while you're sitting around, scratching your head, trying to figure out what to buy for your significant other for Valentine's Day, I'm over here busting my singleton ass to help you out. Sure, you could buy flowers, but those die quickly, and are honestly pretty corny. Of course, you could go and buy a crapload of chocolate, but that's going to push your mate past their prime quicker than a steak in the sun.

After careful consideration, I've come up with the best gifts... Nay, the ONLY gifts, you will ever need to give on Valentine's Day.

1. A beat-boxing robot.

Let's say you're a busy fella... Maybe you travel a lot, or have a stressful job. Meanwhile, your lady-friend is sitting at home, bored and lonely. The best solution to this problem, obviously, is a beat-boxing robot. How could she ever be lonely when there's a robot there to back her while she raps along to 'The Fat Boys Are Back'? See what I'm saying?

2. One of these dancefloors:

Yes, you could take your girlfriend dancing, and it would probably be fun. However, do you know what would be more fun? Buying her a light-up dancefloor so you can have dance-parties all the time.... It's a proven fact that couples that dance together, particularly to obscure remixes and time-tested classics, stay together. If you don't have the room in your house, you could just put the floor in the kitchen or the bathroom or something.

3. Just take her out to Pizza Hut.

It doesn't take a genius to know that everyone in the world loves Pizza Hut. Ordering it is a pretty half-assed effort, so it's super important too hunt down one of the elusive sit-sown places.... Fun city. Don't hesitate to shell out for the sundae bar either, tiger.


Well, I guess that's all you really need to know. I don't really expect for anyone to actually purchase any of these gifts for myself, but if you see me around today, just remind me that you don't hate me.... That's all I need. Thanks.

~sarah p.

p.s. It used to piss me off when I would hear full-blown adults saying "Valentimes's Day", but now I just find it heart-warming.

Something to look forward to.

Not to be a total hip hop nerd, but everyone's got their list of dudes they'd love to see. Truth be told, I've been fortunate... The list grows smaller all the time, as Calgary's been getting some pretty decent shows as of late.
That being said, one of the top spots belongs to Pete Rock, who I haven't had the pleasure of seeing yet..... Yet.
No need to worry, my friends. Rumor has it, we'll be catching that show next month.
Oh shit son? Mmhmm.

~sarah p.

p.s. I really need to stop with the mp3 blogs, but this one can't really be ignored. It's basic, but if you've ever spent the afternoon listening PeteStumentals, you'll get it.

What?

I'm not saying I'm a genius or anything, but I like to consider myself to be a semi-articulate individual.
That being said, I have read through this 1973 anti-drinking comic book about eight times now, and I still don't get it.

~sarah p.

p.s. There is some solid gold on the Comics With Problems website. Due to my mom working at AIDS Calgary, I actually owned Madonna/AIDS one at one point. However, I was more into comics starring the Kool-Aid Man. That guy had some seriously wacky adventures.

Remember when RapCity was good?

With stress on an extreme incline at work, my sanity has been wavering. Having visitors for midday eye-exams eases some of the tension, but the thing that's been helping more than anything is old-school videos. In between patients, I've been having my very own RapCity marathons (and not the newer, shittier RapCity, either) in my office.

Here's some of my favorites:

Redman - Tonight's Da Night
(people always sleep on Redman if he's not hanging around Meth, but dude's had his serious moments)

De La Soul - A Rollerskating Jam Named "Saturdays"

KRS One - Outta Here

Schoolly D - I Don't Like Rock'n'Roll

The Firm ft. Dr Dre - Phone Tap

Raekwon - Ice Cream
(easily one of my favorite jams ever)

Nas - One Love

Masta Ace Incorporated- The I.N.C. Ride
(Masta Ace was all about driving around aimlessly and burning elbows, which are good things to think about when things get stressful)

Method Man and and Mary J Blige - I'll Be There For You
(I'm pretty sure I was listening to this jam the first time I ever got felt-up)

Pharcyde - She Said (Jay Dee Remix)
(R.I.P. Dilla)


Due to some glitches in the system , things are going to be terrible at work for the next little while, so I'm sure I'll hit you back with another list of videos soon. Send some good vibes my way, guys.... I'm going to need them.

~sarah p.

Watch out, Jigga.... Baby Hannibal will eat your face off.

I just don't know about the kind of company that Hov is keeping these days...
Obviously, it looks like hanging out with the kid from an already-dead movie franchise is the most fun he's ever had, but what ever happened to kicking it with B and Nas? I just don't know anymore, guys.

~sarah p.

Dear Lucky Lager, I love you but you make me so ill.

It's the exact feeling that I get whenever I'm in the States and get a little too carried away with the PBRs.... Cheap beer hangover.
I don't really actually remember buying any drinks after arriving at Broken (after a coupla doubles at the Rhino, and a birthday shot with Alana), but my wallet says otherwise. In fact, my wallet says that I bought a whole lot of drinks, and the way I was feeling on Sunday confirmed my suspicions. I'm still confused... Is it 'beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, in the clear'? I think I may have it backwards, or maybe those rules don't apply to my aging body.

I really didn't bust out the camera much, which is a real shame, considering the amount of amazing people that were out and about all night (and for the record, in case I don't say it enough, Marco is one hell of a guy... Thanks for the CD, pal).

On Sunday morning, my head was pounding, my feet hurt, I was covered in mystery-bruises, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I may have made an ass of myself... The sign of a pretty great weekend.

~sarah p.

p.s. My new camera arrived today. I'm going to watch over this one like a hawk (or at the very least, not leave it behind a bunch of douchebags).

Wake Up, Sleepyhead! There's Infomercials On TV!!!

I have a bit of trouble sleeping sometimes, and have become rather familiar with As-Seen-On-Tv products. I'd like to think that I'm pretty hip to all sorts of gadgets that are available, but since I stumbled on this website, I've really been doubting my knowledge on wasteful useless junk. Here's a few products that even I didn't know about:

Since boiling hotdogs and putting them into buns is actually pretty hard, here's a nice solution to simplify a 2-minute task.

You know when you were a kid, and your parents would read you Jack and The Beanstalk, and you'd think to yourself that nobody in this world would actually be stupid enough to buy magic beans? At that age, you didn't realize that late at night, there were thousands of stoned dudes flipping through the channels looking for soft-core porn that would stumble on this infomercial and run to their phones with their visa cards.

If you need an actual urine-removal product that badly, then you probably have bigger things to worry about.

Let's say you're an aspiring young thug, and after all of the drivebys and stabbings, the final part of your gang initiation is to get a tattoo. Uh-oh. What about that pesky fear of needles? Now you'll never join the thug life.
Thank god for innovation.... Airbrush it on, homeboy.

Fart Machine #2.... Because Fart Machine #1 was the worst piece of junk ever made.

Clothed aerobics are for chumps and wusses. Take your fucking clothes off, already (and not just your shirt either... We're talking totally nude).


These last two are in here purely based on their names, which sound awesome and dirty.
Introducing:

The Salad Blaster, and last but not least.....

....Caulk Mate.

~sarah p.

p.s. Does this guy sometimes give you nightmares if you fall asleep on the couch? Me too.

Maybe getting old won't be so bad afterall.....

~sarah p.