Wake Up, Sleepyhead! There's Infomercials On TV!!!

I have a bit of trouble sleeping sometimes, and have become rather familiar with As-Seen-On-Tv products. I'd like to think that I'm pretty hip to all sorts of gadgets that are available, but since I stumbled on this website, I've really been doubting my knowledge on wasteful useless junk. Here's a few products that even I didn't know about:

Since boiling hotdogs and putting them into buns is actually pretty hard, here's a nice solution to simplify a 2-minute task.

You know when you were a kid, and your parents would read you Jack and The Beanstalk, and you'd think to yourself that nobody in this world would actually be stupid enough to buy magic beans? At that age, you didn't realize that late at night, there were thousands of stoned dudes flipping through the channels looking for soft-core porn that would stumble on this infomercial and run to their phones with their visa cards.

If you need an actual urine-removal product that badly, then you probably have bigger things to worry about.

Let's say you're an aspiring young thug, and after all of the drivebys and stabbings, the final part of your gang initiation is to get a tattoo. Uh-oh. What about that pesky fear of needles? Now you'll never join the thug life.
Thank god for innovation.... Airbrush it on, homeboy.

Fart Machine #2.... Because Fart Machine #1 was the worst piece of junk ever made.

Clothed aerobics are for chumps and wusses. Take your fucking clothes off, already (and not just your shirt either... We're talking totally nude).


These last two are in here purely based on their names, which sound awesome and dirty.
Introducing:

The Salad Blaster, and last but not least.....

....Caulk Mate.

~sarah p.

p.s. Does this guy sometimes give you nightmares if you fall asleep on the couch? Me too.