
*I finally bought a pair of leather gloves today, and now all I can think about is slapping a bitch.
*On Monday, I had a really bad headache. I said to my co-workers: "You watch, there's going to be some sort of wacky storm right away". You see, when I was a kid, I was the ultimate weather-predicting machine. Until I was eighteen, I could always tell you when it was going to snow or rain, and I didn't even have to go to community college to take the meteorologist diploma course. I just got headaches whenever shit was about to go down.
By the end of the work-day, there was no wacky storm, and my co-workers were saying things to me like: "You were wrong", and "You can't predict the weather afterall, stupid", and "Go home, honky", but I still had the headache. The next day, around lunch hour, I was almost blown away into the land of Oz, because there was the wackiest storm ever outside..... Told you guys. My co-workers were awfully apologetic, and said things like "We were wrong, Sarah", and "You were right", and "Go home, honky" (some things never change). Point is, I should probably have my own hour-long special on TLC (where they try to portray me in a freakish and inspiring light, but I actually spend most of the time in front of the camera rambling about 80's cartoons and choreographing elaborate dance-offs, because I don't get weather headaches very often anymore).
*The detox is finally over, and I'm back on the bottle. After spending a full month without booze, I was starting to discover that I had something called 'restraint'. This means that I learned to very carefully consider each action, and each word I spoke. However, this newfound consideration ended with me deciding that any word I said, or any action I did, was not really worth sharing with the world, and I basically spent the whole month like a mute weirdo. Thus, I was thrilled to get back to alcohol's general unpredictability. Turns out, I really missed waking up and wondering what was in my hair, and where all of the bruises came from, and how I spent over a hundred dollars, and why there is sand in my bedsheets...
*Halloween is just around the corner, and I'm thinking of going as Ronson. This costume will be funny this year, and probably only this year, because: (a) With her little hightops and porkpie hat and greasy roots, Ronson is everywhere right now (even on the beach!), and (b) Lohan hasn't off-ed herself yet.
What do you guys think?
*Go listen to that Phil Collins album now, now, nowwwwwwwww!!!
Bye for now!
~sarah p.
p.s. How are you guys?
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