A little help from my (ginger, disabled, puppet) friends.

I've been watching a lot of Toddlers & Tiaras lately. Typically, I watch shows like this to keep myself cynical and miserable. Watching mothers spray-tan their eighteen month old daughters and wrench fake nails onto their tiny little hands can be a terrible experience. Watching moms crumple with faded glory when their young daughters don't bring home a giant trophy and $200 stapled onto a paper plate can make you lose a little faith in the world. I thought all pageant parents were horrible people that stuffed their children full of Red Bull and Pixie Sticks and painted them up like little mini-whores to parade them around in an attempt to make up for their own lacklustre childhoods... That is, until I met Jaclynn.

I guess responsible parents are a rare breed on the pageant circuit. Not only are Jaclynn's parents responsible, but also abnormally supportive. If the kid wants to do the robot in the talent competition, no problem. If the kid wants to bring her life-sized, disabled puppet-baby to the competition, absolutely.
Wait, what?

Sorry, I should've introduced you to Arnold earlier. He comes along to every pageant, mostly for support. He has his own seat in the minivan.

Did I mention that he also has his own wheelchair? Well, he does. What are you going to do about it?

He's always there to extend his warmest congratulations when adorable little Jaclynn hops off of the stage. Job well done, pageant queen! Whatever the fuck you were doing...

Damn straight, you keep doing it, you little firecracker... Shine like the bright little star that we all know you can be.

...You know I was mostly talking to Arnold, right?

~sarah p.