Sugar Plum:
-Would be useful at luring children into a dingy van.
-Sickly sweet.
-Faintly purpley, with a hint of dollar-store grape.
Candy Cane:
-I will be tasting this flavor in the back of my throat until the day I die.
-Awful and pungent.
-Shockingly offensive. Like Santa ass-cracked a peppermint stick.
Gingerbread:
-Spice and soda do not quite belong together.
-Terrible shade of brown, similar to the color of factories and dead grass.
-Festive! Also, kind of weird!
Pear Tree:
-Once, a saleslady told me I was "pear shaped". Bitch.
-Lots of pear, no tree. Good call, Jones.
-Though vomit-colored, the least likely in the whole pack to actually make me vomit.
~sarah p.
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