A Good List Of Things To Do When It's +30C Outside.

1. Take your pants off and see if your ass fits in the freezer.
2. Cut all of your sweatshirts into cropped tank-tops, like my drunk uncle used to do in the 80's.
3. Does an egg fry on the sidewalk? Time to find out. Probably use the neighbor's sidewalk, in case it doesn't pan out so well.
4. Time to try out that all-popsicle diet.
5. Make robot-voiced prank calls using an oscillating fan.
6. Give really faux-sincere sweaty hugs to your enemies.
7. Give a dog a bath! When they shake off, it's like refreshing, disgusting, stinky rain!
8. Make friends with someone who has air conditioning in their house, whether or not you like them for any other reason.
9. Go and majorly perv out at the basketball courts.
10. Despite what your parents used to tell you, there is absolutely no reason why you can't wear your bathing suit as underwear.

~sarah p.

Jams Of The Week (Hold Me Edition):

~sarah p.

Portlandia.

 ~sarah p.

Jams Of The Week (Alena x Yam Who? Edition):

~sarah p.

p.s. Every time I think that new music is not for me, someone like Alena comes along, and I'm like "My bad, my bad. I'll step aside in the name of funk".

Preconceived Notions About Portland.

In four days I leave for Portland, and I'm not sure what to expect, so I've gathered together the things that others have told me to get some pre-impressions about the city.

-They don't let you through customs unless you can name the most recent Y Toro Moi album, and your favorite Arcade Fire song.

-The taps in the bathrooms have three spouts: hot water, cold water, and craft beer.

-Shirts will come in one pattern: plaid. Any shirts deviating from this pattern will be subjected to aggressive plaid-painting by a rogue team of hipsters on fixies. 

-Weed stores are probably like adult Disneylands.

-Oh, boy. You better believe it's going to be quaint.

Back in a week, friends! 
xoxox

~sarah p. 

Jams Of The Week (Alanis, Minus The Angst, Edition):

  

 ~sarah p.

p.s. Alanis' early shit is on that CeCe Peniston/Cathy Dennis/Lisa Stansfield tip so hard that it almost makes you forget she spent most of the mid-nineties writing hate songs about Uncle Joey from Full House.