A Good List Of Things To Do When It's +30C Outside.

1. Take your pants off and see if your ass fits in the freezer.
2. Cut all of your sweatshirts into cropped tank-tops, like my drunk uncle used to do in the 80's.
3. Does an egg fry on the sidewalk? Time to find out. Probably use the neighbor's sidewalk, in case it doesn't pan out so well.
4. Time to try out that all-popsicle diet.
5. Make robot-voiced prank calls using an oscillating fan.
6. Give really faux-sincere sweaty hugs to your enemies.
7. Give a dog a bath! When they shake off, it's like refreshing, disgusting, stinky rain!
8. Make friends with someone who has air conditioning in their house, whether or not you like them for any other reason.
9. Go and majorly perv out at the basketball courts.
10. Despite what your parents used to tell you, there is absolutely no reason why you can't wear your bathing suit as underwear.

~sarah p.