The Awesome Store called, they want their pumpkin back.

Wonder Pumpkin may seem to have a rough exterior. Here's what you don't know: he did not have a very good life (that is, until he came to live with me 3 days ago). He was raised in some dirt by a very strict farmer, who forced him to grow at an alarming rate. He was fed steroids daily, and insulted for hours by the farmer. One day, he escaped on a truck that just happened to be passing by. He ended up in the supermarket, where I found him selling his body for 99 cents/kg. I couldn't stand to see such a young and vibrant pumpkin in such a dangerous place, so I bought him and took him home. For the first time in his life, he could feel safe.

Mind you, life has been a bit hectic with him around. He isn't used to being in such a civilized environment, and often resorts to physical violence and verbal insults (behavior learned from the evil pumpkin farmer). I have been dealing with this the best I can. For instance, when he calls me "honkey", I gently remind him that it doesn't matter if I'm white and he's orange, we're all the same color on the inside, and we should all love each other, no matter what. At this time, he lets me know that we are not the same color on the inside, as he is orange, and has a glowing candle in his head...He is a very clever pumpkin.

I am so glad to have Wonder Pumpkin in my house, and we will remain the best of friends (until Monday, when I turn over legal guardianship to the loving arms of Mr. Compost Heap).

Will write more later on various Halloween adventures.