Dear Snowpants,

As awesome and charming and stylish as you are, I really shouldn't have pulled you out this early in the year. I was being hasty. I thought it was going to be really cold outside, and it turned out that I ended up almost dying of heat-stroke.... Back in the closet you go.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm on my way to my MENSA meeting. Juuuuuuust joking.

~sarah p.

Koalas are my new favorite animal (sorry, penguins and pandas).

The Kid Koala show was unreal. I woulda taken some photos, but someone stole my batteries. Afterward, I did what I do best: dance and rap (it's really all I'm good for).
Hope you all had an amazing weekend... I sure did.

~sarah p.

p.s. Did you know that Koalas cool themselves by licking their arms? You do now.

i am soooo blogging about this (halloween 'ventures)

It really doesn't matter how high-brow the show is, The Warehouse totally sicks me out. It's full of a bunch of gross skids touching each other and dancing like assholes. As a matter of fact, on my current list of favorite things, which is like a billion-item list, it's probably dead-last (at the top? Spaghetti, side-ponytails, and my new bedspread).

Anyway, so we got some tickets to go see MSTRKRFT at The Warehouse for a Halloween show. Last time MSTRKRFT was in town, it was a work-night, I had a sprained ankle, it was over 30 degrees outside, and Hifi was like an oven. We didn't even make it through the whole show.
This time, though, we did. It was amazing, once I got past the whole "I'm at the Warehouse and totally creeped-out" vibe. We were right by the stage the entire time, and I danced until my bum-muscles were sore (then Allison punched me in the ass infront of a whole bunch of people, and things got kinda awkward for a bit).
Let me tell you, though, once the show was done, we got the hell outta there. Holy moly.

I don't know this guy, but his costume was better than most. I wish it was mine.

MSTRKRFT.

See, I told you we were close. We had for-real VIP placement, because we're nice girls.

I was a bug. Amy was a nurse.

Crystal was a hula-girl. Derek was a hick.

Allison was a sweet zombie cheerleader.

This is maybe the collective worst picture of the three of us ever. Cripes.


Totally fun, and the fun continues this evening with Kid Koala. I sure hope my bum-muscles can take another night of dancing.

~sarah p.

500 Posts / 2 Years.

2 full years and 500 posts of nobody giving a damn about me or the things I do, and me continuing to write about it anyway.

...Promise it'll get good one days, guys (maybe in another 500 posts). Thanks a trillion for reading.

xoxox
~sarah p.

Naw, naw, nawwwwwww.....

From here on out, every single time I get really discouraged about life, I'm going to stop and say to myself "well, at least I'm not a Carter".

~sarah p.

Nice and Easy (since I moved up like George and Wheezy).

I have officially decided to stop flipping the fuck out about all of my dating issues. I don't even know why I started in the first place.... It's not like me to worry about much in this world, and let me tell you, I don't like that side of myself.

Thanks for the advice, ya'll... It was solid gold.

~sarah p.

Bombay, hip hop, and Sunday-morning steak.

So, back to adulthood on Saturday night. How can you say no to $6.50 doubles? Not cheap well-booze, either... Premium, motherfuckers (that's the blue-bottle, not the bar-gun).

Jeff came out to see us...Finally.

Crystal was makin' new friends pretty much everywhere she went.

There was dancing (when is there not dancing?).

I wouldn't have even included this photo, but look at my mondo neck-muscles. I didn't realize it, but apparently I've been working on them... Hard.

Ryan is everywhere I wanna be.

No big thing, but Breanne showed up....

...and Jessica (just joking, total big thing).

Looooove you both. Holy moly.

So great, and I even felt pretty good in the morning, considering (especially after some Sunday-morning steak at the most depressing pub I've been to in a while).

~sarah p.

p.s. Marco and Gary re-tooled Saturdays at Broken, and it's definitely going to be hottttt. Check out The Spread. Every Saturday. Do it.

Made some ghosts...

I'd like to pretend that I made these ghosts and put them up in the window in anticipation of Halloween... I really would. The truth is that I was smoking with Crystal on Saturday at my place, and I saw a pizza box, and 'creative Sarah' (you know, the side of me that nobody likes) came out in full-effect. I would like to take the time right now to thank Amy, my dear roommate, for putting up with me. I'll take them down when Halloween is done, I promise.

~sarah p.

Best and Worst of Friday at the movies:

Worst way to get tickets: Driving around like Tokyo Drift in Chinatown (almost died, you guys)
Best way to get tickets: Arcade

Worst arcade game: spinny coin thing that doesn't even give tickets
Best arcade game: the one that was half-broken, and gave us lots of tickets

Worst prize we could have gotten at the arcade: Bootleg stuffed animals
Best prize we could have gotten at the arcade: Bootleg stuffed animals (don't really have a choice)

Worst novelty candy: candy ice cream cone filled with styrofoam (swear to god)/when you put your chicken bones in with your sour candy, and your chicken bones get all sour (tie)
Best novelty candy: Sour Fundip/massive package of gummi strands from Germany (tie)

Worst part of The Grudge 2 : Everything/ Spending more money going to the movies than we would spend to go out and get crunk (the usual Friday plans)
Best part of The Grudge 2: Running commentary through the whole movie (ours)


Tonight, we're going to do something a little more adult, and head on over to The Distillery for the Birdapes show, followed by some dancing at Amsterdam Rhino. Should be a good time (probably).

~sarah p.

For all of the shitty photos I take, here's one that's kinda nice...

Thanks to Rob Faust for a pretty amazing picture of the ladies and I. See more of Rob's photos (and more of us) at CalgarySoul.com. We are on there just enough for it to be a little embarrassing.

~sarah p.

Okay. and Saturday too.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but Amsterdam Rhino is picking up big time (plus, $6.50 doubles, you guys). The first time we went, there was like 6 people in the whole place. Disoriental and Reece spin, so you know the music is good. Being that I am broke and love hip hop, how can I lose? I can't.

~sarah p.

p.s. Kinda jazzed about the Birdapres show this Saturday at the Distillery. Should be good. Yes.

p.p.s. I hope someday, someone plays me Oh Sheila at the bar (or sings it to me, but only if they have a jheri-curl). I kind-of love that one, but I don't mean to.

Oh, Fridaaaaay.

Mmmm...

Every morning, I walk past this sexy stump. Every day it beckons me, but I am too focused on getting to work, so I haven't had the chance to stop and say hello. Well, after a few gin and sodas, I was feeling rather brave, so Allison and I went to the park and I proceeded to get my mack on. Then I ditched the stump, and Allison and I went for pizza. Bitches ain't shit, as they say.

We went to Hifi, and guess who was there? Clint and Derek.

5 points for Clint's shirt.

10 points for Boobs! Lots of them.

Clint took like 15 different photos like this before he found the one he liked.

Peace, ladies.

Look! I got gold shoes that are the same as my silver ones (on sale, too).

Amy called us out on the dancefloor. All night long.

Gin? Soda? Two at a time.

Hey Tara... Guess what? I like you. So does Trev. Hang out more often.

Why am I getting so tired at the bar lately? The second the clock hits two, I'm ready to go. Maybe I'm getting old. Or worn out. Or wiser. I don't know.

~sarah p.

Downer.

I have been the ultimate downer for a couple of days now. I'm confused and uncomfortable and more than anything, kind-of sad, and it's all because I've been asked out on a few dates.
A couple of well-made Manhattans erased some of those feelings temporarily last night, but after a good walk home from downtown (without my i-pod) and too much thinking, everything came back in full-force. I just feel like after five quiet months, everything is happening all at once, and it's more than a little overwhelming. I'm forcing myself back out on the scene, but not without a ton of awkward feelings and unnecessary resistance.


Here's what I know about dating:

1. I hate it.
2. It's tough to measure anyone up to the best.
3. I hate it. A lot.

Sorry this wasn't my usual stupid mindless banter, but my brain's been on overdrive lately. Pics from the weekend tomorrow (Amsterdam Rhino is really giving me special feelings right now, you guys).

~sarah p.

p.s. Do you know how easy it is to drop a C-note on a single meal at Murrieta's? So easy (but it was really nice to get back to my wine-geek roots, and my meal was blindingly delicious).

My apologies...

I shoulda said hello. I'm not usually such a cockface in real life.... I'm just for-real shy sometimes, you know.

~sarah p.

Three Wishes.

Maybe you didn't know this, but a few weeks ago, I found a sweet-ass genie in an alleyway (no lamp, just genie). I bought him a banana milk , and he granted me three wishes. I spent my first two wishes on novelty candy. For my last wish, I wanted more hip hop so I could dance like a dork and rap along to more songs at the bar (because I totally know the words). Anyway, it really happened, and DJ Pump and Disoriental (who is totally my boyfriend but doesn't know it yet) threw it down last night at All Gravy. It was a little quiet, but that didn't mean that the music was lacking... No sir.
It sucks to go to work hungover the next day, but weeknights at the bar can be top-shelf fun too (not that I didn't already know that).

~sarah p.


p.s. This post was not written while sober, that's for sure. Happy Thursday.


Here's some girls:

Hello... Is it me your looking for?

Hey guys, I know I fuck around a lot and make a lot of jokes, but once in a while I like to get a tiny bit serious. Don't doubt me when I say this, because it's totally true: I will be marrying Lionel Ritchie (and ending the marriage shortly afterward).
For 300 G's a month in alimony, I can deal with the fact that Teeny McSkelator will be my stepdaughter (for a bit, before the d-i-v-o-r-c-e).
I can also deal with the fact that my *cough* husband released one of my least favorite videos of all time, Hello (however, he was in the Commodores, which almost makes up for it... Almost).
So, yep, I'm going to go all Anna Nicole on Lionel, marry for money, and make myself a fortune. Being poor is getting tiresome.

~sarah p.

p.s. Man, oh, man. I love GST cheques. It's not even that much money, but when you go to your mailbox and look inside, and there's something other than bills and Pizza 73 flyers, it's kind-of a nice feeling.

p.p.s. Dear Lionel Ritchie, if you are reading this, I swear I'll never hurt you, baby. I'll never try to divorce you and take your money. Never. I'll love you for who you are. Just believe me, baby. Please?

Goodbye, long weekend.....

....Thanks for making me totally sick (yes, again).

~sarah p.

Broken and Victorias. Saturday eve.

Allison and I headed out last night for a bit.

Dudes, I am not adjusting to this weather very well at all. I'm sure I'll climatize eventually (especially when I'm drinking, and the temperature in the room seems to go from way below freezing to magical tropical paradise verrrry quickly).

Allison was pretty serious about having some fun.

Hadn't seen Marco in a bit, so it was good to chat (and great to make the cheezzzziest, fakest smile in the world for Allison).

Allison told me to act natural, so I gave her a look like "since when do I act natural?", and she took the photo. There you go, Allison. There you go.

So we were at Broken, and having a lovely evening, but Anthony was spinning at Victorias, so we pack up our stuff, posse-out of there, and head over to 17th.

I get there, and right away, I made a friend. Since most of you guys aren't little chubby blonde girls, you don't know this, but we are the #1 favorite thing of gay guys (besides you know, other guys). I don't know why it happens, but it's pretty fun. Here, my new gay BF and I are discussing bargains and jackets (and how awesome is Giant Tiger? So Awesome. Can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Ontario).

Once again, I was doing my best to 'act natural' for the camera. I am pretty good at it.

Then, my blog-partner shows up, and the comedy begins.

The night ended pretty shortly after that. It was fairly low-key, but really... I was just saving myself for tonight. Trouble ahead (and turkey. and wine. and dancing.).

~sarah p.