Not the father.

Q: If a man wears an airbrushed shirt that says "I'm not the father", but a woman says that she is "250% sure" that this same gentleman fathered her child, who is correct?

A: Trick question. You want to believe the woman, with tears running down her face, would be able to identify the man that put her through four minutes of drunken fondling, sixteen hours of labor, a life's worth of stretch-marks, and thousands of dollars in diapers.
However, look closer. Nobody who is that desperate to avoid child support would ever drop the cash to custom-airbrush a shirt without knowing where his semen had ended up earlier in the year. That shirt is pure confidence in the form of a 50/50 cotton blend. I could've saved Maury the cost of the DNA test right there. Not the father.

~sarah p.