I have been house sitting at my parent's place this week, which means I have less responsibility than ever (which is hardly possible, but here we are). I figured I'd use all of my spare time, along with a few glasses of wine from their pricey collection and their amazing surround-sound system, to really hammer out the fine details of this year's summer jam. I was really all over the map for a while, somewhere between French house and codeine-laced DJ Screw remixes, and was about ten seconds away from just giving up all together and just picking another SWV remix (perhaps this one?) when a group of stoned teenagers saved the day. I was on the balcony, overlooking the park that sits directly beside the house, when a large cloud of smoke wafted past my face. I looked down at a group of boys in their late teens. They looked back up at me, and asked what song was currently flowing through the windows. We began a great discussion on music, and pretty soon, I had joined them at their picnic table. I explained that I was finishing up some research for personal purposes, ie: a blog that nobody reads. I listed off many summer jams I had already used, some I had considered, and some I had actively avoided, such as my genuine, non-ironic love of child rappers. One of the boys looked at me through bleary, red eyes and asked me one of the most sensical questions of my life: "Why wouldn't you include child rappers?", and truthfully, there is no reason at all.
Without further adieu, here is every adolescent rap song I have ever wanted to make into a summer jam, but didn't:
p.s. Did I miss any good ones? What is YOUR summer jam? If you don't know by now, you better get to work!
p.p.s. If you haven't listened to Bishop Nehru's Soundcloud yet, then now is the fucking time, slowpoke.
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