Celebrity Jeopardy (awful, awful, awful).

Here's the plan:
I need to get a little famous. Not famous enough for people to bug me when I'm out trying to buy black-market prescription pills, but famous enough for me to get onto Celebrity Jeopardy.
Now, I'm not claiming to be a genius, but you'd only need to have the IQ of a patio set to be the best Celebrity Jeopardy player ever.
I think I could totally handle standing up on that sound-stage with Trebek infront of me, two drug-addicted quasi-stars to the left and right of me, sweating harder everytime they whittle down their choices to the point where they actually have to choose out of the single intellectual category on the board.

"I'll take Breakfast Cereals for $100, Alex"
"I'll take Kitties for $400"
"I'll go with Puffy Things for $200"
"I'll go with *sweat* Fundamentalism and the Modern World for $800"

Tonight I watched the entire show, and I don't think any of the celebrities got a single Daily Double correct. I don't even think they realized that they were on Jeopardy for most the show. They were all too busy thinking about pomade and leopard print handbags and $100 burgers and box-seats to the Knicks game and chauffeurs. I could have totally beat any of those guys in my sleep.

Here's where the plan gets clever:
Prior to getting famous, I register myself as a charity (really, I'm totally poor, so it's pretty legit). Then, I go onto Celebrity Jeopardy and win, win, win. When they ask me what charity I would like to donate my winnings to, I run off with the cheque in my hands, laughing into the night.

It's pretty much foolproof.

~sarah p.

p.s. I'm totally just writing stupid entries right now to distract myself from the fact that I will be seeing Kool Keith in 4 days.