Daaaammmnnnn. (no circles anymore, please)

Man, you know what I am not into right now at all? Circle dancing. You know what I'm talking about... Like, when you're at Rhino, and a pretty serious track comes on, and you make your way out to the floor, but it's all packed-up because there's some little white kid doing flips in the middle of a circle, and everyone around him is stroking his ego and making noises like "ooooh", and "daaaaammmnn", and then another little tiny kid gets in the circle, but this time he's asian, and does the same thing, and it continues on for like three hours. I realize that these suburban kids think they can break, but who are we kidding? Dancing is crazy fun, but dancing for the purposes of amusing others in the middle of a crowded bar? Not fun.

I mean, I guess there is instances where it's okay, but they are pretty specific.

For example:
If you were a guy who looked like you just kinda rolled out of bed, kinda like how ?uestlove looks every day, but with the best shoes anyone has ever seen. Nobody had ever seen you dance before.... You're always just sitting on the outskirts of the dancefloor and drinking Jack over ice, and stepping in as the occasional wingman once in a while.
Anyway, so a track comes on, one of those songs that everyone's secretly been going apeshit about in their bedroom every night (but you don't want anyone to know that you like). Without a word, it is collectively decided among the patrons that it is actually okay to be into the song, and the dancefloor fills up.
While everyone is busting a nut over the track, you slip out, unseen, into the middle of the dancefloor, and a circle magically forms around you. You throw down some moves for like 45 seconds that make everyone else a little less confident about their dance-style, and go sit down like it's no big thing (plus you have like the best weed ever in your jacket pocket, so you're not thinking about dancing anymore).

If everything happened exactly in that order, I guess the circle would be okay. Otherwise, clear the dancefloor, assfaces.

~sarah p.