One of my schemes worked (finally).

I haven't had a credit card in forever. The last time I had one, I was super young, it was under my mom's name, and didn't even count toward my credit rating. Long story short, I've barely even attempted to get a card since. I didn't even think it was worth trying.

There have been these cockfaces in the mall for two months now, and every single day they tried to lure me into applying for a card by offering me free gifts. They offered me picture frames, mini-fans, their first-born children.... Really though, I wasn't taking the bait. Then, this one day I was passing by, and they had some lil' radios that kind-of caught my eye. They also had calculators. With the wit of a used car salesman, I was able to scheme both prizes out of the girl at the counter, and all I had to do was give her a bunch of super personal numbers in return. Then, I forgot about it completely ('cept for the radio part, which is still rocking my world to this day).

About a month later, I got a call at work. It was Mastercard, and they were asking for my boss. Looking back I'm not sure why I did it, but I pretended I was her, and verified my own employment and grossly exaggerated earnings. In some circles, that could be considered "untruthful" or "fraudulent", but at this point, I was still positive that they were not going to give me a card.

Long story short, I get home today, and there's two white envelopes in the mailbox, both for me. I felt like I was dreaming when I opened up the fat envelope and saw the shiny corner of a card staring me in the face.

I bit that shit like it was a piece of solid gold, just to make sure it was real:...Story checks out, so I'm off to buy me some happiness.

Thanks, Mastercard. You're probably going to regret this one.

~sarah p.