Monday, July 28, 2014

A Few Thoughts In The Middle Of A Summer Cold.

*It's hard to make even the best outfits look fresh with a wad of Kleenex in your pocket.

*There are only so many episodes of "The Office" you can watch on the couch before you start to realize that you are actually perpetuating Caucasian stereotypes.

*High fevers mean that, for the first time this whole summer, you're freezing and giving your Cosby sweater collection a good workout.

*Fuckin' soup. Not a meal at all. Creamsicles, on the other hand, actually encompass two whole food groups, fruit and milk (three if you count "frozen" as one), so they are probably more nutritious than anyone realizes.

*They made they daytime pills blue, and the nighttime ones white, which means that the people at the Sudafed factory are real jokesters.

Jams Of The Week (Marvin's Room Edition):

~sarah p.

p.s. Remind me, one day, to tell you guys the tale of the smoothest cab driver ever, who pulled up in front of the Dillaville concert bumping the most sample-worthy Marvin tracks for all to hear as he waited for his next fare. Moral of the story: know your audience, man.

Monday, July 21, 2014

I Love Summer, An Annual Declaration.

It's my 32nd summer on the planet, and I know I say this every year, but it has been the best one yet.

First of all, if you've never fallen in love in July, then now is the fucking time, you guys. I'm walking around this town in very little clothes shooting hearts from my eyes at every turn. Everything I do seems fun when he is around. We spend hours trying to out-music-geek each other and eating sashimi. I spend a fair amount of time watching him on stage as my heart beats out of my chest, and at the end of the night we retire to my tiny basement apartment, where it's always cool. Sometimes we stay in bed most of the day. Honestly, I don't care what we're doing, so long as he is near. 

Also, let me tell you about living downtown in the summer. The second I leave my place, the heat hits me like a wall. I say that like it's a bad thing, but I have a deep love for warm cement and tall buildings. The other week, Reggie and I sat in the park across from my house and listened as a band practiced covers of The Roots songs while mosquitoes and homeless folks buzzed past us. It was one of those moments where I thought I had died and gone to heaven. In the very same park, two nights ago, I watched a little old volunteer gardener cut a stem of roses for an ancient Asian man that didn't speak English, and it was the most beautiful wordless transaction I had ever seen. Reggie and I sat on the wall until he disappeared from sight, smiling and smelling his flowers. I've been pinching myself a lot lately, because just about everything seems too good to be real.

And the outfits? All sheer everything. Very little pants. The whole neighborhood knows I love Wu-Tang, because their concert shirts have become my dog walking/hungover uniform. Every bar I like is within short walking distance, so my high-heel collection has gotten out of control in the best way possible. 

Now it's the time in my annual "I fucking love summer so much" post where I scheme on keeping the feeling for as long as I can. October comes fast, y'all. Here's the solution: give a giant middle finger to everything Environment Canada has been saying, and get to tearing a giant hole in the ozone layer. If we all pitch in, I really think we can be successful! Double-barrel cans of Aqua Net deep into the sky. Idle your cars. Forget recycling for good. Do your part. If we all work really hard on this global warming thing, then parkas will become a thing of the past, and you won't have to hear anyone blabbing on annoyingly about snowboarding anymore. Sure, this plan could backfire and throw us into a second ice age, but that is a chance I am willing to take.

With love, love, love,

~sarah p.

Jams Of The Week (Patrick Alavi Edition):

 ~sarah p.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Legalize It.

Some people think that legalizing marijuana is going to cause a complete downfall of society, but if my smoking habits are any indication, then the breakdown of the whole world is basically eating four popsicles in a row, listening to Gap Band albums on repeat, and watching videos about when animals become best friends. In short, this downfall is going to be fantastic, y'all.

~sarah p.

Jams Of The Week (10-1 Edition):

~sarah p.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Jams Of The Week (Kashif Party, USA Edition):

~sarah p.

p.s. In case you didn't know, everything Kashif ever did was perfect.

Monday, July 07, 2014


You know that feeling when you make up a perfectly attractive, kind, smart, respectful hip hop DJ boyfriend in your head, and a few months later he is spending the night at your place, and likes you back, and is treating you like a fucking queen, and you have to keep checking yourself for signs of psychosis because you're still not sure it's not all some sort of delusion?
No? Just me, then?

~sarah p.