Tuesday, January 26, 2010

When credit is due.

Granted, Snooki from Jersey Shore has a pretty good hairdo on the go. Bitch must go through a gallon of spray-gel a week! But to go as far as to say that she invented the pouf? Not quite, sister.

Have you met my friend Reverend Al Sharpton? Take 'em to church, Al:

Now that's a pouf.

Fact: in 1991, a guy tried to assassinate Al Sharpton. Although it's not documented anywhere, I think it was a combination of Al's board-stiff pompadour and the glare off of his slick, greasy forehead that saved his life.
Fact: Reverend Al Sharpton keeps a switchblade and a can of Diet Sprite in his pouf at all times.
Fact: While Al Sharpton was busy publicly scolding a black man for dating a white woman on the street, Al Sharpton's hair was busy developing new cancer treatments and volunteering at the soup kitchen.
Fact: Al Sharpton uses a combination of Aqua Net, Goody Fine-toothed combs, reverse racism, and pure magic to achieve his signature 'do.

Also, I think that Snooki might be using the odd Bumpit for volume, and you can be damn sure that Al Sharpton doesn't pad his coif like that. No, sir. That, my friends, would be false advertising. Al Sharpton's hair is pure, honest, and beautiful.
Let's give some overdue credit to the best pouf in the biz. Much love, A-Sharps - may you never go bald.

~sarah p.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Cool it now.

You...You guys made a New Edition tribute video without me?

I realize I was only four years old, but would it have killed you guys to at least put me on background vocals or something? I can't help but feel a little left out here, like the fat girl that doesn't get invited to the party of the year.
Did I not spend enough time dreaming about Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny?
Did I not spend countless hours memorizing the cassette insert, when I should have probably been doing my homework (no wonder I couldn't make it past eleventh grade math).
Did I not plaster my walls with their posters, causing horrible damage to the paint-job in my room?
Also, I AM PETITE and holy fuck, that's the name of your group.

Not cool, ladies. Not cool.

~sarah p.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Forgot to mention:

Holy shit, the samples:

So great.
~sarah p.

p.s. That flow? Daaaamn.
Keith Murray- one of the best lyricists in hip hop, agreed?

Friday, January 15, 2010


Another one bites the dust...

Teddy P dies on my birthday- Birthday TKO?

When I was younger, I always thought that I would probably lose my virginity to one of TedPen's jams... I was pretty sure it was a common occurrence. His music kinda did that to people.
I don't want to tell you what really happened when I did actually lose my virginity, but I can assure you it had a lot less to do with silky R&B and immaculate baselines, and a lot more to do with poor choices and bottled Singapore Slings. Tough break, kid.

Rest in peace, you smooth, soulful bastard.

~sarah p.