Monday, January 30, 2012

Day Off.

Instead of waking up early and trudging up to work today, I took the day off. I have not been handling stress very well lately, as displayed by my never-ending head colds and desperate need to come home from work every Friday night and hibernate in a fort of blankets and sadness until Monday morning. I really needed an extra day to relax and get my head on straight.

On a normal Monday, I pick up a coffee about halfway to work, and drink it in a hurry so that I'm alert and ready to hit the ground running upon my arrival. This morning, I made coffee at 11-ish, a full hour after I woke up, and drank the whole pot slowly while I watched a show about killer jellyfish (they exist?!).

At this time on a usual weekday, I am trying to juggle paperwork and conversations with homeless kids about how to get rid of scabies. Today, rather, I gave the dog a bath.

Also, I took some time and got lost in the vast world of celebrity gossip on the internet. Here are a few things I learned this morning:

1) Those of us who enjoy sad-ish Will Ferrell movies have already watched 'Everything Must Go', but did you know that the fat, nerdy kid in that movie was Christopher "Biggie" Wallace's eldest son? It's true! This flick was alright, but I'm more of a "Will Ferrel making bad career choices" fan... I always make an effort to catch 'Kicking and Screaming' when it's on YTV, because there's something magical about watching Will Ferrell in a soccer movie about trying to coach a team of misfit assholes that can't play soccer at all. Of course he's not a good coach. Come on, you guys.
2) Elvis was a natural blonde.
3) "I'd take out a joint and light it. First, just faking it. Then I started lighting live joints, passing them around to the band, you know. I was great, it relieved all my tensions. And I ended up with the greatest supply of grass ever. Other acts up and down the Strip heard about what I was doing - Little Anthony and the Imperials, people like that - and started sending me the best dope in the world. I never ran out." -Barbra fucking Streisand
4) Steely Dan was once called 'Leather Canary' (grrrreat band name), and Chevy Chase was their drummer.
5) Aerosmith's 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' was written about Vince Neil. Ha!

It's back to the grind tomorrow, but today I will try to make pumpkin pancakes later in the afternoon. Or french toast... I'm not typically a fan of eating in the mornings, and today I'm not bound by the regular weekday mealtimes.
Fuck it. I'm on vacation for another eighteen hours. I might not even clean up the kitchen until tomorrow.

(Just kidding, I'm totally OCD about a clean kitchen. That shit will be tidy to-night).


Your pal,

~sarah p.

Friday, January 20, 2012


For my 30th birthday, I ate a candy apple (the red kind) fresh from Banff, and twelve assorted oysters. Like the great majority of Caucasians nowadays, I typically rigorously photograph all of my meal choices, but there was no chance with the platter of oysters- they were inhaled the moment they were placed in front of me. I took a fair amount of Ativan. I received the most wonderful spotted calf hair ankle boots. I ate fried chicken, and had my best friend over for a pity party.
My worst nightmare came true, and it was much less traumatizing than I could've ever imagined.
I am thirty years old. Try and stop me, world.

~sarah p.

p.s. Dylan says that the only type of music I enjoy is wuss music, and so be it. I spent most of my birthday iTunes cash on Blood Orange tracks. Not only is Devonté Hynes basically the most attractive human being ever (right along side DeVante Swing of Jodeci fame, circa 1994... What is it about that name?), but I have been very active in working on my own relaxation as of late, and songs that sound like Prince taking a surf holiday can really aid in the process. That, and baths. Lots and lots of baths.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Year Of The Hot Dog.

I feel like 2012 is going to be the year that I'm going to enjoy hot dogs at least as much, if not more, than I enjoy tacos. Why does everyone giggle like a school girl when I say that?
Grow up, you guys.

~sarah p.

Monday, January 09, 2012


This year I did something I have never been able to achieve in the past: I made a New Year's Resolution, and I stuck to it. Not only did I stick to it, I completed it only six days into the new year.

For 2012, I told myself, I wanted to get a dog.

This is Reggie. He lives at our house now. He's seven years old, and he has made himself right at home along side our senior cat, Louise.

We are running a small animal retirement home, and it's totally awesome.

I turn thirty on Saturday. I hope I get hit by a bus before then.

~sarah p.

p.s. Just kidding about the bus thing (but only kind-of). I hope I get some awesome magazine subscriptions, along with a little peace and quiet, for my birthday. Wish me luck.

p.p.s. Today, I got up at 8AM, happily, to take little Reggie for a walk. Before Reggie, I could hardly drag my ass out of bed at 9AM because I HATE MORNINGS SO MUCH. This little guy must be magical or something, because, despite my early rise, I was hardly even a horrible jerk today. It's supposed to snow tomorrow, so I can't say I'll be as chipper when I wake, but still... Progress!

Monday, January 02, 2012

Make It Last Forever.

Man, I would not be upset if the last couple of days never, ever ended.
The reckless consumption of lobster, the time spent with my delightful nephews, and the long, magically-scented baths where I listened to 'Cruel Summer' over and over and over until I wrinkled into a lazy little prune... I could go on this way forever.

Tomorrow I am back at work, and it is going to be a rough day.
Happy 2012.


~sarah p.

p.s. As a child, I came across a mix of Larry Levan's in a box in a dusty record store, and my entire view on music changed. The above track was one of the most unique I had ever come across, and the songs on the album looped into one another in beautiful ways I had never heard. I fell in love with nasty bass lines, disco jumpsuits, and dudes with Jheri Curls at the age of nine, and never I looked back.