Monday, November 25, 2013

Matchy Matchy.

When I was considering a decorating motif for my new bedroom, I, of course, looked directly to my dear friend Tina for inspiration.

~sarah p.

p.s. Guys! Somehow I survived this!

p.p.s. I found this photo of Tina at the cat shelter, prior to her adoption, feeding her little kittens... I diiiie.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

10 Things About My Upcoming Move.

1. For the first time in my life, I hired movers. Let's hope they're the seasoned, efficient type (the type with non-ironic mustaches), and not the swarthy, lazy, careless kind. Odds are not great that they will be the former.

2. When I take a bath now, I get feeling all relaxed, and then I open my eyes and look up and *bam*, toilet. In my new bathroom, there is no clear view of anything gross from the bathtub, which means all of those pricey bath products I buy might be finally be worth it.

3. I am painting my new place dark teal, bright peach, and steel grey, because I can.

4. I have been making a really conscience effort to downsize, so I have been sorting through boxes and chucking stuff, and there is nothing in this world that will make you feel more like a slob. In an old storage container, I found half a pack of Big League Chew in a flavor that hasn't existed since 1996, and now I'm super disappointed in myself. 

5. Here are some more things I won't miss about my old house: worrying that it will burn down due to sketchy wiring, worrying about the roof blowing off, worrying about the storm windows breaking in a hail storm, worrying about our yearly issues with roots in the waste-water pipes, worrying, worrying, worrying.

6. I got a new bed, because my current one is lumpy, won't fit in my new bedroom, and has a long and disgusting history.

7. My realtor bought me an awesome congratulations cake to my work that was the size of a football field, and made me super popular for the day.

8. My (divorced) parents are getting along now?

9. As a moving present, I got a new set of fancy pots and pans which will probably, hopefully, make me a better cook. Also, my new place has a bigger kitchen than any place I have lived in my entire life!

10. This time, next week, all of my belongings will be in my new place, and I can finally fucking chill for a minute.

~sarah p. 

Friday, November 08, 2013

Great Things!

I was never a person that believed in luck or Karma, but after a good month-and-a-half of breakup hell, it's  tough to ignore the world's wheels in motion. Here a fabulous list of wonderful things that have happened since this all went down:

1. I sold a house in two days. Probably mostly thanks to my amazing home-staging skills (throw pillows and vacuuming, guys).

2. I bought a great condo within three weeks. A fine little dwelling in the middle of downtown, where I can snuggle Reggie and Tina, and then do lunch and coffee and wander around as slow as I want, all I want, all day, every day.

3. I had to go sign papers at the lawyer's office with my ex, and he looked like he was in the middle of the biggest bender of his life. The minute he left, the lawyer started commenting on how much I looked like the chick from CBS's Nashville. I hadn't showered, I currently have the cough from hell, and was in my dingy work clothes. The compliment was probably not true at all, but RIGHT?

4. Gear Up was yesterday! Gear Up is a big event for anyone in my industry. Annually, all the youth-serving agencies in Calgary band together for one day and help set up our kids for the cold winter months. The day went off without a fight, a visible drug-deal, or a single arrest. Plus, I got the most full-body hugs in a single day than I have ever, ever gotten, and had my hair twirled by a three-year-old.

5. I came into work this morning to the most exciting present from my fabulous co-workers- four pairs of shoes (pictured above). Vintage fur boots for stylish walks with Reggie, red slip-ons for lazy days, and two limited-edition Vans mids (Kiss and Robert Crumb) that I'm pretty sure are going to change my entire life.

6. If I lose another ten pounds on the "divorce diet", I may actually start to look like the chick from Nashville. Actually, fuck it. So long as Hawkins Cheezies are still in production, that is never, ever going to happen.

7. Financially, I am making out better than expected in the sale of our house. I am taking a vacation, bitches.

8. Dam Funk and Snoop Dogg are releasing an album.

9. I finally ordered the exact right fucking amount of Japanese takeout.

10. I have been rather cocky these past few weeks. This wouldn't normally be a good thing, but I'm normally the most under-confident human being on the entire planet, and this is the one damn time I'm ever going to peacock around this city. I'm proud of myself, and proud of my choices, and fortunate to have changed my life path in such a seamless way, in such a short period of time. Most importantly, without making a total dick out of myself. I'm thankful to have escaped a shitty situation, and excited for the next chapter. Thanks to all for your love and support.

~sarah p. 

p.s. Guys! Mutual agreement: no more break-up posts! Sorry!

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Crush On You.

I was a fiercely loyal partner to my ex. I was not the type of person to have a wandering eye. In the almost-decade that we were together, I didn't even allow myself to have a celebrity crush. I was kind-of a crazy person in that regard.
That being said, up until eight years ago, I was boy.fucking.crazy.

It all started when I was six years old, with a show that ended ABC's TGIF lineup in the late 80's, Just The Ten of Us. Friday nights were a bit of a free-for-all at my house when I was a kid. My mom usually worked evenings, and dad would have had a few start-of-the-weekend beers, so we got to stay up late and drink Slurpees while dad snoozed on the couch behind us. 10:30PM each Friday, I would wait anxiously to see how much screen-time 'JR' was going to get this week. JR was the only boy in the family on the show. He was cute and non-threatening, and I thought he was quite a piece of ass. JR was my official first crush ever. At that point, I didn't understand that JR was just a TV character, and I dreamed of running away to California with him for the next two years.

I've mentioned before on this blog that my room was plastered with posters from teen magazines (which are essentially clothes-on porn for pre-teens). When I was younger, my all-time favorite was New Edition, followed by Kris Kross, JTT, and the fat boy and the short boy from The Mighty Ducks movies. Into my teen years, it was Jodeci, and a young, hippie-haired Jospeh Gordon Levitt. I also had a crush on just about any and every boy in my school that was quirky, awkward, well-dressed, shy, or sensitive (bonus points for any combo of the five). As I entered the adult world, nothing really changed, with exception of sex thrown into the mix. I could write a novel on my early-20's exploits, but I won't, because gross.

It came to me in a dream last night. I don't remember the dream specifically, but I awoke to realize that I get to have crushes again. I get to feel the push-and-pull of pursuing someone. The heart-stopping thrill of running into them, accidentally on purpose. Even the uncertainty of it all, the rejection and unrequitedness, has it's own kind of beauty. Fresh out of a long-term relationship, I am not sure I'm ready to date just yet, but I'm ready to start from scratch and learn how to have a crush on someone again, and it's going to be awesome.

~sarah p.