Gangsta, gangsta.

With the temperature rising, I'm feeling like it's junior high all over again.
....I'm back on a serious early/mid 90's West Coast kick, and it feels so good (way better than that time that I decided to try and get back into Jodeci....Yuck). Guess how many times I listened to The Chronic before I left to go out on Friday? Yep, three.
I used to get kinda disappointed in myself when, every few years, I'd dig in my CD collection and pull out all kinds of Dre/Snoop-offshoots, like Tha Dogg Pound and Warren G, because even as a kid, I knew that shit was corny as fuck. However, I'm doing my very best to embrace it this time around.

The best part? I can still remember most of the lyrics, even after 10+ years, without trying.
"Woke up one morning out some bomb-ass cock, my dick kinda limp so I cruise around the block".
...Try and tell me that shit doesn't roll off of your tongue.

Sometimes, when I used to get mad at my parents, I'd secretly wish that Dre and his friends would come and take me away on their tour bus. I did not stop to think about the fact that, if this we ever to happen in reality, I'd probably be used as a juvenile fuck-doll for the roadies. Really, though, I bet Dre's a good fella. Also, one time I saw Snoop on Cribs, and he was baby-talking to his pitbulls. I thought to myself: "Man, Snoop is probably really nice".

Point is, gangsta rap was pretty great, wasn't it? Now that's it's warm outside, pour some gin and OJ in your chalice, put on your all-blue Chucks, get lifted, take yourself back to 1993, and thank me later.

~sarah p.

p.s. I'm still not really feeling very good... I think I may be getting closer and closer to drinking my slurpees at that big 7-11 in the sky. If, by chance, I do happen to pass away suddenly, please do me a favor and make sure that my gravestone is at least as elaborate as the ones that they give to russian mobsters. Thanks.

Pinkeye and Gold Chains.

So after spending last night shouting over the music and having an all-around fantastic time at The Marquee Room, I wake up this morning with no voice and my eye glued shut. Initially, I just decided to forget about the eye until Monday, and have a nice day sitting on the deck and drinking slurpees, but the little adult voice in my head kept nagging at me (bitch), and I realized that I really shouldn't wait on going to the doctor.

Now, I haven't had a family doctor since I moved back to the city in 2004, so that means that I get to go down to the walk-in clinic on 8th and 8th downtown. Every time I've had to go to this clinic, I don't need to bring anything to entertain myself, because that place is plenty lively on it's own.

I walked in, and told them my symptoms, and they immediately handed me a mask. Apparently, the symptoms for having a cold and pinkeye are quite similar to the symptoms for the measles. This also meant that they would fast-track me in to see the doctor.
Still, that didn't mean that I didn't have a little bit of time in the waiting room regardless (AKA-entertainment central).

I sat on the hard chairs and watched in amazement as this tiny man wordlessly consumed an entire large bag of Cheezies, two slurpees, and a can of coke in under ten minutes.... Obviously he was not going to see the doctor about any stomach problems.
Just as the man was licking the crumbs from the bottom of the bag, a nurse wearing a full face-mask and operating gown took me into the back and made me take off my shirt.
She fondled me with wreckless abandon for a few minutes, and then informed me that she wasn't a nurse at all.... Kidding, kidding. She made me read an eye chart, and then told me I could take off my mask. See? I told you guys I didn't have the measles. Fuck.

The doctor came in, looked in my eye for about four seconds, wrote me a prescription, told me to wash my hands a lot and stay in tonight, and sent me on my way.

I started walking home, and on my way, I got a slurpee and bought a vintage gold chain that would make Mr T jealous.... So I guess it turned out to be an okay day afterall.

Hope it was good for you guys.

~sarah p.