Rain, rain.

I often wish that I had 'rain days' at my job... Days where, upon waking to dreary wet skies, my phone would ring, and my boss would say: "Stay inside today! It is too wet to work!".
I would shrug my shoulders, crawl back into bed, and switch on the TV for Maury-a-thon 2010.

Perhaps it's time to consider a blue collar career? I have no idea what a 'foreman' does, but it sounds like it would probably be something that I am good at. Those guys get rain days a'plenty.

I'm sick of showing up to work with soggy feet and frizzy hair, and having to smell the first damp vagrant of the morning (a scent that can only be described as a combo of musk, trash, and depression) as I wrap the blood pressure cuff around their clammy, cold arm.

This weather is the worst. My beautiful Mexican tan has faded to a hint of pale glow across my forehead and cheeks, and my most of my flowers in the garden have barely begun to bloom.
I've been using as much aerosol hairspray as I can, in hopes that it may help rip a larger hole in the area of ozone directly above my house. I'm thinking about burning a bunch of plastic and garbage in my backyard to speed the process along.
Hurry up, summer!

~sarah p.

p.s. The best thing to do on a rainy day by far? Download every Evelyn 'Champagne' King album ever!
Betcha there's some tracks you forgot about, or didn't even know existed. Score!

Fact: Learning about the Meteor Man soundtrack, the hard way.

Fact: In 1993, I ran to the record store to buy a copy of the Meteor Man soundtrack, because I had heard this song in one of the scenes:

Fact: The record store didn't have the Meteor Man soundtrack, so I pulled out my Columbia House catalogue, and sent my money (coins and all) in a pre-sealed envelope.

Fact: Two months later, after two back-order notices and a personal apology call from Columbia House's customer service department, my package finally arrived.

Fact: The song wasn't even on the Meteor Man soundtrack. What I did get was some b-side lacklustre tracks from Shanice and Hi-Five, mixed with some other unknown artists that I'm sure the producers got on the cheap.

Fact: Meteor Man was the worst movie ever. Come oooooon, how was Robert Townsend ever supposed to be playing a believable superhero? That guy can play a sensible dad that loves to BBQ, a depressed Little League coach, or maybe a mild-mannered banker with a heart of gold, but a motherfucking superhero?
People in 1993 must've had some crazy imaginations, because that shit is ridiculous.

~sarah p.

p.s. I often say to myself: "What did I do without the internet?". Well this, my friends, was a classic case.