Saturday, February 09, 2013

Stupidity and Tempting Fate.

After months of being forced into the house by freezing winds and giant-ass sheets of ice that I slip on all the fucking time, it is great to see some new TV shows on the air.
My absolute favorite of the lot, without a doubt, is Wild Things With Dominic Monaghan.
The show follows Dominic Monaghan, who is not only almost exclusively known for being a hobbit, but also has a keen interest in gross bugs and lizards. The only other guys I've ever know to have similar interests are drug dealers, and friends of drug dealers. Like your average drug-dealing escapade, the show is a weekly lesson in both stupidity and tempting fate.
Dominic crawls through the rain forest and across the desert, with a brave local tour guide, and turns over rocks and shuffles himself into caves. When he finds something, like a pissed-off puff adder in the sand dunes of Africa, he pulls out his snake-stick and pokes around a little, while the horrified tour guide looks on from a safe distance.
First of all, who the fuck gave this guy a snake stick in the first place? Also, what the fuck is a snake stick?
Secondly, for some reason, Dominic's past as a fictional fantasy character has qualified him to pick this snake up by the tail and whip him around, reminding all of us NOT to ever, ever do this at home. Way ahead of you, dude.
He kisses the snake on the forehead, and lets him go. I spend most of the hour a concerned, nervous wreck, as I assume the cast and crew are the entire shoot.
In the end, he ends up finding the most disgusting scorpion in the world, putting it down his pants, and encouraging it to "sting the camera".
I haven't been this into a nature show since The Crocodile Hunter, and realistically, I don't expect many seasons ahead... It's the unfortunate reality of making out with poisonous spiders for entertainment purposes.
If you're into shows that you can barely watch through your fingers, and never while you're eating, then catch new episodes Tuesdays on OLN.

~sarah p.

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