Monday, March 16, 2015

The Worst Of Urban Outfitters: Tchotchkes Edition

No cheerier or better way to ring in the holidays than with this uplifting, sort-of confusing, Yuletide greeting. Also, this is still on sale in March. Christmas 2015 is going to be hella depressing.

A huge fan of all baked goods, and really, it's tough to find something wrong with the mighty muffin. That is, beyond the blatant obscenity of them exposing themselves all day, every day. Put on some goddamned muffin pants, dude.

I don't know how Urban Outfitters crawled into my brain and carved my nightmares into two masks, but they really hit the nail on the head here.

I'll admit, I am not an outdoorsy person. I do not understand why, since the invention of buildings, anyone would want such a thin barrier between themselves and nature. More-so, I do not understand why you would want to actively cloak yourself as a universally delicious snack in the wild.
Goodbye arm, hellooooo mountain lions.

This is bad, Urban Outfitters. Real bad. Mostly because, no matter how stupid,  I have to ignore that tiny little girl part of my brain that still thinks it would be kind-of badass to show up at the outdoor pool with one of these babies.

~sarah p.

p.s. I'm off to Jamaica to claim my sanity! In a while, blog. xoxo

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