Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dumpstergate 2010.

A couple of weeks ago, I was strolling past a Calgary Sun paper box, and a headline caught me eye:
"Dumpster Baby Found in City's Northwest"
My first thought was "Oh. How sad.", but my second thought was "Halloween is a'comin'!"

For the record, little dumpster baby is fine. Chances are, he will have a close relationship with his therapist in the future (happens to the best of us), and he may never get to know his real mom, but let's face the facts: the kid's a star!

I went out the night prior to Halloween with a hungover stomach. I wore this costume to Local 522 for another amazing edition of Stars & Muscles. The bar was dark and crowed, a few people asked what I was, but most were fixated on the impending nip-slips that were about to go down (unavoidable when sexy costumes are out in full effect). I ended up taking off early, and not many of my pals caught a glimpse of my most clever costume yet.

Tonight, in between answering the door and dropping handfuls of candy into plastic pumpkins, I figured that I should post a photo of the costume of Facebook for all to see. What a horrible, horrible mistake.

Somewhere between high school and now, most folks have lost their sense of humor. Perhaps it's because a bunch of the chicks I knew in grade school are now full-fledged baby machines, but the amount of hate mail I received was staggering. Responses ranged from "What the fuck is wrong with you?!?" to "Obviously you don't have kids." (they were saying that like it's a bad thing). I had 26 people un-friend me in a span of an hour. Good riddance, you humorless bastards.

I took the photo down. No regrets, I just didn't feel like reading any more angry comments. I posted on a few select friend's walls, there was no reason that the photos should never see the light of day again... It was an amazing costume! There were folks dressed as Hitlers, child molesters, KKK-members, and dudes in fucking blackface, and I'm the one getting in shit? Relax, dudes. I didn't realize that a holiday built around dressing up like sluts and eating candy was such a somber occasion.

Here's a new headline for you: "Apparently, Halloween Is No Laughing Matter". Put that one on your front page, Calgary Sun.

Also, how am I going to top this costume next year, guys?

~sarah p.

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