Wednesday, March 16, 2011

In other TV news:

If you haven't started watching Real World Las Vegas, don't bother.
I promised myself (let me repeat: promised myself) I would not watch this season. I get sucked in every other season, and it's a real bummer to realize, when it's all over, that you've just spent 20+ hours in total watching stupid, shallow strangers pick fights with other stupid, shallow strangers.
However, one small peek during the premiere last week, and now I'm stuck watching the entire season. Fabulous.
Here's the rundown of Las Vegas so far:

The Real World stopped trying to pretend to be a realistic portrayal of young-adulthood years ago. It's gotten to the point where they just take a bunch of low-grade fame-seekers and lock them in a casino with hundreds of gallons of vodka and a full crate of condoms and let them "have at 'er". All while the cameras roll.

They hired two of the exact same guy to be in the cast this season (and they are currently fighting with each other!). Diversity is a thing of the past. So far, only one of the two has admitted to being on a gay-for-pay website in the past, but I'm sure the other one will 'fess up about something good before the season's over. Twinsies!
2011 is, apparently, the year of the blonde, possibly bi-sexual, shy, rural frat boy in LV.

The product placement has gotten out of control on this show... We're only on the second episode of the season, and they've already eaten at Subway probably 40 times. Subtlety is also a thing of the past, don't you know...

Again, do yourself a favor and just don't bother. There are finer things to do on a Wednesday night- like, basically, anything but watching The Real World.

Those of you that know me well know that I am not a very good sleeper. Since a very young age, I have been, by nature, a night owl. To this day, I spend a lot of nights in bed, staring at the ceiling and worrying about what I'm missing at 4AM on a Sunday morning (besides that adorable Mr. T infomercial), and wondering what ever happened to the fourth chick in Destiny's Child. (Juuust kidding about that last part... I saw on 'Behind The Music' that Beyonce's dad sacked her because she was stealing away the spotlight. Smart move, Mr Knowles. )

Anyway, I'm always desperately searching for something to ease my mind into a deep slumber. Something so slow, mindless, and gentle that it would be impossible to stay awake. Something on OLN. Travel shows are a sure bet, but you know what's even better (and by 'better', I mean 'even more mindless')?
Travel shows where they search, unsuccessfully, for made-up monsters and ghosts.

Recently, I've been drifting off each night to a show called 'Destination Truth', which should be called 'Destination Unknown', because they have never, ever been able to prove the existence of a single creature. Truth be told, it actually seems like a pretty sweet gig to me: you fly into an exotic local, stay with the natives, and run around the forest in the dark with night vision cameras, pretend to be scared for a few hours. You bring some specimens back to the "lab" in LA (which may or may not actually exist, due to the extremely high number of "inconclusive results" I have seen coming out of there), and talk amongst your colleagues on the likelihood of the shadow you saw in the forest being a real, live ghost... Just the one you were hunting for in the first place! That being said, because you have no actual hard evidence, we'll all just have to assume that it exists.
Holy fucking dream job. Am I right? This is someone's real occupation right now.

With all of the craziness in the world today, sometimes it's nice to be fed a little bit of bullshit before bedtime. Let's just face the facts: the 11 o'clock news is a real bummer, and nothing calms the soul more than watching grown men run around the forest after elves in Iceland, and blame their malfunctioning camera equipment on "elf magic" (instead of blaming it on their mid-morning trip to the Brennivin factory). So, so cute.

~sarah p.

p.s. You won't even be able to stop the cuteness at Stars & Muscles 10- next weekend, you guys!

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