Monday, May 16, 2011

The end of the world.

Oh, did you hear? The world is ending in five days.
Yep, in five days a magical ghost that has been hiding for over 2000 years is going to rise from his grave and everyone is going to parish in a fiery, horrible death.... Everyone, that is, except for those that believe in magical ghosts.
You heard it here, folks: Jesus is back in 2011... With a vengeance.

I try to have an open mind. I really do. However, anyone who knows me well knows that I have a classic, textbook case of of skepticism. If I don't see visible, audible, or scent-based proof of something, it doesn't exist to me.
I have been seeing these bus ads lately proclaiming that the world is ending ASAP, and you know what? They might not be wrong. The world will end one day, that is for sure... I just don't think that there is any way of proving that it will be exactly five days from now.

As a through-and-through skeptic, I struggle with religion a lot. I just can't trust that the same mystical being that causes grown-ass adults to act like this and this on Sunday mornings is the same dude that is orchestrating the end of the world. Not buying it.
Plus, if there really was a 'supreme being' out there that created each and every one of us, then why are we, as humans, so full of design flaws? Check it out:
Donuts are the tastiest food in the world, and yet if you eat too many, you get diabetes. Design flaw.
Murderers. Design flaw.
The older/more pregnant (and therefore slower) you get, the smaller your bladder gets. Design flaw.
Warts. Design flaw.
If God 'made us in his image', then he was slacking pretty hard that day, and where I come from, we do not celebrate a half-ass job.

...And even if the world was ending, and you could save yourself and live forever by believing in the magical ghost, think about it: in the past seven days, I have had both strep throat and a head cold. Do I really want to live forever? Do I really want to see how many more seasons of 'Survivor' CBS is going to try to get away with? No thanks. If Jesus is going to be such a jerk, and burn everything down, then why would I want to hang out with him forever anyway? There are very few people I would ever choose to spend forever with, and most of them are close family members, or Shaq.

As any atheist probably has in the back of their head, I often have 'what if' moments... 'What if' I'm wrong, and 'What if' the end of the world is really five days away???
Well, I'd be sad that I didn't ever die my hair a wacky color when I was young and stupid enough to get away with it. I'd be regretful that I never got the chance to go to Asia, where I might just get the chance to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a crowd for once. I'd wish I'd spent more time baking in the sun, and writing, and drinking full-sugar colas, and less time keeping tabs on Lohan. Then, Jesus would burn my face off, and I'd rot in hell with the rest of the non-believers. Standard stuff.

I can respect, and am often a little jealous, that other people are open-minded enough to have a little faith in the unseen. I've always been a 'whatever gets you through the night' kind of gal. If you go to church, and it enriches your life, good on you... I just heard that this Sunday, the temperature is going to hit 21C, and I, for one, am not letting the Apocalypse ruin my long weekend. Screw that.

~sarah p.

p.s. Plus, when did I ever listen to anything that bus ads tell me anyway? I still haven't applied to The Career Institute, gotten a payday loan from Instaloans, or taken myself to get checked for colorectal cancer, and some of those things seem like they might even be of benefit to me. Up to this point, I've decided that the best way to deal with the "joys" of Calgary Transit is to ignore every little bit of the transit experience, including those that may enrich my life. One time, an older Asian gentleman spit on the ground right beside me on the bus. I chose to turn the other cheek, even if the droplets of saliva and tobacco from his mouth may have carried the secret to the creation of the universe... My loss, I guess.

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