Tuesday, May 03, 2011

That time of year again (an endless bummer).

As a native Calgarian, I don't even bother using the word 'spring'. There may be little spots of green appearing in the lawn, and sad little flowers pushing through the dirt, but I don't even put my snow shovel away until June. It's not rare for me to have to pull out my winter coat in May. I keep a pair of mitts in my bag 'just in case'. It is, however, the time of year when I can feel the days grow longer and the nights grow warmer. The birds are back from their vacation down south, and Slurpees grow progressively more appetizing. You guessed it: it's the time of year to start picking out the perfect summer jam.

Usually, the main concern during such task is party-ability. Meaning, the perfect summer jam must be able to start any BBQ or beach party with proper authority... Songs that make you forget that it's +30C outside and let you dance, no matter how sweaty you may be, the night away.
Not this year, however. Due to some recently acquired maturity (so to speak), combined with four years of a high-stress job, I'm far more concerned with finding the perfect 'lay in the sun in the yard with a wine spritzer' songs. I want tracks that make me remember why it's important to take a little time to relax when the temperature is rising... Beyond the threat of heat stroke, the body's natural inclination is to recline and take it easy in the summer, so why fight the urge?
Bike rides and dance parties? No thanks, I'm too busy (bizzy?) listening to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony this year.

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony is my top pick for this summer, my 29th on the earth. It should be noted that they were also my top pick in my 14th summer. These guys are the most relaxed people in the world. Trust me. Check out these stills from one of their finest tracks, 1st of Tha Month:

If these guys were any more laid-back, they'd be dead. They look like they just rolled out of bed, even if it's the middle of the day, and I bet they take forever to get anything done. It would take them hours to cash a cheque and grab a quick lunch. These are guys that take their time. As someone who has recently dedicated their entire life to the art of relaxation outside of work-hours, I appreciate how half of their songs sound like they made them up on the spot. I can respect that. Why put in more effort than needed to get the point across, right? 'Specially if it's hot as hell outside.

Also, not that I need to even say this, but sprinkle a little Bone Thugs on any random R&B track, and it *poof* - instant summer jam. For example, I love me some Mariah, but Butterfly would be a weak effort if it weren't for Krayzie Bone and Wish Bone getting stoned and showing up at the studio at the right time. Bizzy Bone showed up on Immature's 1997 album The Journey, and dropped a flawless summery track on an otherwise bizarre, washed-up boy band's last-ditch effort for success. Maybe don't venture into any of the Bone Thugs solo albums. Even I'm not that brave. Let's not get too crazy (krayzie?) here.

Where will you be this summer? Me, I'll be in the sun, letting Bone Thugs-n-Harmony keep me calm and collected. Maybe I'll buy myself a kiddie-pool. And sip blender drinks. And get a magazine subscription. We'll see. It's going to be perrrrrrrfect. Can't wait.

Pray for warmth. We deserve it this year.

~sarah p.


RB said...

Another gem. I'll be somewhere in Vermont, jamming to something when I'm not being forcefed the pop music of the day. For this summer will be my first at a girls camp. Oh boy...

~sarah p. said...

A girls camp? Congratulations, Ron!
Those girls will be so lucky to have you! I hope they're ready for Toccer...


p.s. Use this opportunity to re-connect with slow-jams of yore... Chicks love a good slow jam; R Kelly built an entire industry based on that fact.