Thursday, July 12, 2007

What a way to make a living.

I'm starting to realize that the whole notion of "hard work pays off" is bullshit. I come home every night and have to take a rest before I change my clothes because I've worked like a fucking maniac all day, and where's my payoff? I'm too exhausted to have fun on weekdays anymore, and I'm not really making a ton more cash than my last job, where I basically fucked around all day. Nope, I'm pretty much getting the royal screw-job right now.

I think I've finally become one of the millions of Canadians that honestly hates their job. Fair enough, I don't hate it every single day (probably only three or four days out of the week are hate-worthy), my job is semi-respectable, there's Chinese BBQ across the street, and I guess that a long, long way down the road, I may get some sort of karma-payback for working for a non-profit organization. However, I'm not always the most patient person, and I want some kickbacks now.

That being said, it could probably be worse... There are some jobs out there that are awful every single day. I'm not talking about the garbage men or cow inseminators that you see on World's Worst Jobs on The Discovery Channel. Too obvious...
Of course messy, gross jobs are going to be horrible. Duh. No, I'm talking about the average, everyday jobs that regular people have that are probably just as bad as examining animal vomit all day, or working at an ammonia factory.

For example:

-An Insurance Agent.
What is the difference between a telemarketer and an insurance agent? About $10,000/yr.
Calling people up and trying to trick them into hurricane insurance is, I'd assume, a pretty wretched way to spend your day.

-An Ice Cream Man.
Uh. Can you imagine getting awkwardly poked and prodded with tiny sweaty, sticky, dirty hands all day while listening to the same shitty music over and over? (I was going to insert some tasteless euphemism here about how it would probably feel quite similar to sleeping with me, but I didn't want to make anyone throw up).
Yes gentleman, I am single.

-A Mover.
How much did your last moving day suck? Imagine if that was your life every single day, except that you're not allowed beer.... Trying to fit furniture through doorways and lifting shit all day? Noooo thanks.

-A Map-Maker.
Remember when you were a kid, and your teacher made you color in maps in different shades? It took forever, and it was actually kind-of intensive labor. Then the Russia would turn into the USSR, then to the Soviet Union, and then back to Russia, and you'd have to re-color those same maps over and over again. The world is always a'changin, which means that all of your hard-ass work gets ruined every time a land mass falls into the sea, or every time a world leader decides to go postal, which is probably like a billion times a year (those statistics may be slightly off)....Terrible.

-A Guidance Counselor.
All day long, you'd be stuck seeing hopeless teen after hopeless teen, and trying to keep your cool while giving them fake advice about college and the "real world". You'd have to keep biting your tongue the whole time, because realistically most of them should probably start working at the 7-11 right away so they can get that sweet hiring bonus a year from now, right about the time that their first bastard child is due.


Anyway, point is, I guess it could be worse, and if anything, I have a whole new appreciation for my weekends.

Keep cool guys, or you'll roast like a suckling pig this weekend. Might I suggest re-connecting with your old pal Popsicle Pete?

~sarah p.

3 comments:

marco said...

i was actually a dickie dee dude for a summer. it wasn't that bad. not my favourite job, but by far not the worst. it was actually pretty boring, waiting for the busloads of kids to come around for ice cream. busy is almost always better than dead in retail. you got to be in the sun all day. if you got hungry, there was plenty of ice cream at hand and if you got hot, you could just stick your head in the freezer. And i think your estimate on the diff in pay b/w telemarketers and insurance agents is a bit off. the folks i know in the insurance biz make bank.

re: your job... hating your job sucks and is terribly draining. my advice is to start looking elsewhere and switch at the first opportunity, life's too short. the advantage to working for nonprofits is supposedly the work environment and people you work with. if you don't have that and you're not getting paid well, time to switch. fer reals.

marco said...

oh also, i used to know a crew of movers back east. they may not be able to drink at work (actually, i'm pretty sure most of them did anyways), but they more than made up for it afterwards. i've known very few harder drinking dudes.

sarah p. said...

Marco, your advice is always greatly appreciated. Yeah, I guess I actually would love eating popsicles all day in the sun. Maybe I should get into the ice cream business afterall?