Monday, June 20, 2011

Dream Gang

Since we moved into this neighbourhood a couple of years ago, I have been seeing this gang of pre-teen boys, riding around on their skateboards and getting into general mischief. A skate gang, if you will. As with any group of twelve-year-old boys, some are tiny and fragile, and look like they just snuck out of the third grade, and some are starting to sprout pubey little moustaches and look like they could drive a car. Some wear helmets and knee-pads (mom's orders), and some were clever enough to ditch the safety gear in the bushes down the street from their parent's house (just like I used to do with my bike helmet). Yet, somehow, they all amalgamate into this wonderful little gang, and they are so cute, and look like they are having so much fun, that I'm starting to get a little jealous.

Instead of sitting around the house pouting, like I would normally do, I have decided to jump into action. I got out some paper and roughly outlined what I thought gang life would look like. I didn't want to form a skate gang because, duh, I can't skateboard. I would look like a total dick. I guess my gang will just walk around instead. Also, I wanted my gang to have a good range of ages. There should be babies and old people, because I don't think it's really fair to exclude anyone (including animals and fictional characters- unlike some people, I am NOT bound by reality). Plus, some senior citizens are sooo funny, and can basically get away with murder, because they're going to die soon anyway.
You know, I'm totally tired of going to work every day, so I think we will probably have to figure out how to make money. Perhaps a lemonade stand with a petty crime business being run from behind the counter? Something easy-going like that. Something with minimal gang warfare, and maximum profits.
Upon breaching the subject of forming a street gang with some of my real friends, I was met with resistance and disbelief. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. No bitch, you're the one that's crazy, saying 'no' to my gang. So, you know what? Forget about it. I went online, and picked out my dream gang. Consider it like a fantasy football team, but with organized crime affiliations!

Without further ado, here they are. Meet my dream gang:

Thuuuuuug life! These guys are incredible! This is going to be the best summer ever!

Watch out, Bloods and Crips. There's a new gang in town.

...A girl can dream, right? Right? Riiiiiight?

~sarah p.

p.s. Right? Can't wait to hang out with Tray-Mo.

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