Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Falling to pieces and other tales.

Yes, I get a lot of colds and flus (the Nyquil people write me a thank-you card every year), but on the whole, I'm a pretty healthy person.
Lately, though, my health has been taking a bit of a nosedive. For example, it was my tennis elbow acting up after all, which is so awful, considering that I don't even play tennis (and I initially got it from lifting boxes of the city's finest wines). I'm not sleeping, and I still haven't gotten rid of my cough from a couple of weeks ago.
My biggest issue, however, started about a month ago. Everything that smells bad smells the same to me (not joking). For example, a dumpster smells the same as that dead bird that I walk by every day on the way to work. I can't even describe what it all smells like (maybe kinda like burning some eggs, then puking on them), and it wouldn't be such a huge issue, but I have the feeling that certain things are smelling worse than they normally would. For example, when the Edo in the food court burns a bunch of shit, it didn't smell great in the first place, but now it smells just as bad as some of the old guys that come in for eye-exams (which can be terrible, believe me)... Pretty sure this means I have a brain tumor, so make sure you buy me a ton of nice things to make me feel better. Thanks (I'm a size 5 1/2 in shoes... Hint, hint).

After spending last night roaming around the neighbourhood in the snow (long story), I'm looking forward to taking it easy tonight. You guys know what that means.... MTV. I'm not a huge fan of Two-A-Days, but I think that tonight's Real World Denver is unmissable. Granted, I don't love this season as much as most of the other seasons, but I'm always down for a good on-air freakout. Also, I kinda looked ahead to see what was going to happen on I'm From Rolling Stone (MTV in the States is a couple of episodes ahead of us), and I've gotta say... I'm not really that happy with the results. More on this later, but it's safe to say that Russell is now available to move in with me, and I couldn't be more excited.

I've been packing like a motherfucker, and yet I feel like I'm getting nowhere. I've already packed most of my clothes into six large boxes, and I haven't even touched my shoes yet (and this is after I just got rid of a bunch of stuff). I've got to say, I'm amazingly jazzed about getting into my own place, but for a 'collector' like me, moving is the worst shit ever.

Just when I thought that supermarkets couldn't get any lamer, they prove me wrong. I was at Safeway today on my lunch break, checking out the beef jerky, and some Green Day came on over the loudspeaker. The woman beside me, who was looking at the snack mixes, starts singing along softly. I got a little embarrassed for her, and switched aisles to peep the olive oil. In the next aisle, the same thing was going down... A lone middle-aged woman, audibly singing along. I decided that my best course of action at this point was to go collect my produce and get the hell out of there. However, as I'm getting some tomatoes, I hear two of the produce boys arguing over who has the better, rarer Green Day album collection. Two days ago, the grocery store played Nu Shooz's I Can't Wait, which is one of those songs that I totally hate to admit that I love with my whole heart (especially the first minute or so), and I thought to myself that maybe Safeway wasn't so bad after all, but I take it back.

~sarah p.

p.s. This is my new favorite blog. Just photos and hip hop.... That's really all that counts, isn't it?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

"ever had popcorn balls?"

"yes!"

"that anything like tennis elbow?"

"hmmph."

bad jokes = good times

your blog is funny

~sarah p. said...

I like you, anonymous... I think.

Anyone who tells you that flattery gets you nowhere is a damn fool.

Anonymous said...

thanks. since you're a nice gal, here's another..

"why don't snakes have balls?"

"dunno?"

"because most are shitty dancers"

again, good times...

~sarah p. said...

You can write me jokes any day, anonymous. I like what's going on here.

Anonymous said...

guy meets his midget friend for a drink. first time they've hung out in like 5 years. as they exchange pleasantries, the time passes quickly. the barmaid brings the tab and the tall guy goes for his billfold.

"oh no, i've got it, says the little person."

"sure?"

"yeah pal, don't worry."

midget fumbles through his wallet and his organizer, all the while becoming mroe frantic.

guy says, "what's the matter?"

midget says sheepishly, "I'm short."

~sarah p. said...

Dude, I could totally use that joke in real-life. Have you seen me?

Anonymous said...

well, you talk about being short. so i'll just have to take your word on it.

i saw you leave comments on my friend emily's (porkdisco) blog a few times in the past.

i'm trying to recoop a busted knee and went back over some old bookmarks and thought i'd leave a few random comments.

my knee thanks you for being funny in canada, where all dreams can come true.

Anonymous said...

and by dreams, I obviously mean Tim Hortons.

~sarah p. said...

Thanks for the kind words, anonymous. Glad you've been stopping by (and telling awesome jokes).